You’ve probably heard that hearing is the last sense to lose before dying, and hospice nurses encourage you to talk to the person even though they cannot respond. When my mother had a stroke three years ago and was in the hospital, my brother held the phone up to her ear so that I could say my final thank you and farewell. I didn’t know whether she heard me or not, because at that point she couldn’t answer me.
On Wednesday morning, when I woke up at 5:30 am, I thought that Carl Crosier had suffered a stroke, because his body was completely paralyzed — he could neither move his arms or legs, and I found him with his head wedged between the mattress and the bed frame. When I spoke to him, his speech was slurred and his answers unintelligible. I immediately called the hospice nurse to assess his condition and the decision was made to transport him to a hospice facility at St. Francis West in Ewa Beach. While we were waiting, I called Father David Gierlach who came shortly to read scripture and prayers. When we got to the Lord’s Prayer portion of the service, Carl made some noises like he was saying those familiar phrases with us.
Shortly after we arrived at St. Francis West, Carl became completely unresponsive and was unable to speak at all. John Renke joined Carl’s sister, Carol, and me around his bedside, and he pulled up Bach Cantata 106 from YouTube, Gottes Zeit ist die allerbeste Zeit (God’s time is the best time), with Gustav Leonhardt conducting. It was a beloved recording we had played many times, and after the familiar strains of the opening sinfonia, a miracle happened. At the beginning of the opening chorus, Carl lifted his left hand and started to conduct! It was truly a miracle, because we knew he was unable to move his arms and legs! The three of us were witnesses to Carl’s hearing this most beloved Bach work, which you can hear in the video link above.
The next day, Thursday, I felt like I was a “deathbed deejay,” as I tried to find sound files on YouTube that Carl might enjoy. Here are some of the pieces I played for him, all Bach:
Cello suite no. 1, prelude
Cantata BWV 150, Nach dir, Herr, verlanget mich (we have performed this for funerals many times)
From the St. Matthew Passion, Erbarme dich (Andreas Scholl, countertenor)
From the Mass in B minor, Agnus Dei (Andreas Scholl, countertenor)
At that point, we didn’t know he could hear any of the music. But after I played this next selection for him, Carl’s sister said to me, “He must know that piece!” It was the Dona nobis pacem from Bach’s B-Minor Mass! the last piece, Carl conducted in concert. After the triumphant conclusion of the piece, Carl was visibly moved and we saw tears come down from his eyes.
So when you hear people say that “hearing is the last sense to go,” you’d better believe it!
I do.
Now my tears are flowing….thank you Kathy for this beautiful gift and testimony. I was wondering what Carl’s last hours were like…it was a holy death, for sure, and God was there.
Just this evening I decided to embark on a project..learning the Leipzig Chorales, in honor of you & Carl! You’re my inspiration Kathy, and I will think about you both when I practice!
Absolutely beautiful, Kathy. I, and many others, I’m sure, are grateful to you for sharing such difficult, yet inspiring and uplifting moments at the end of Carl’s life.
Kathy…I will be singing the tenor aria in a performance of this Work at Lycoming College this November – and when I do, it will be for Carl.
How incredibly beautiful, Kathy. I can’t think of anything more perfect.
Kathy know that you and Carl were prayed for as I played my 11AM service Sunday.
Soli Deo Gloria!
Tears are flowing – joy and sorrow mixed together.
Kathy, I’m so sorry for your loss and the music was so beautiful and moving. I hope our Lord knows that he has gained a wonderful musician and the heavenly music will be so much more beautiful. I’m sure your parents and mine are enjoying it now.
Miracle upon Miracle upon Miracle! I DO BELIEVE!!
[…] And I can’t help but remember that the Bach Dona nobis pacem was the last that my late husband, Carl, conducted in concert (see my post “Open Letter to the Bach B-Minor Choir“), and the recording of this piece was one I played on his deathbed when he became so visibly moved. Go back and reread my post, “Bach to the end.” […]
[…] Last night’s Sacred Heart service started at 7:00 pm, and when I got into my car to drive home, I looked at the clock, and it said 8:26. Hmmm, I thought, the LCH service probably hasn’t gotten out yet, because they started at 7:30. And then I realized that what was playing on public radio at that moment was the “Gratias agimus tibi” from Bach’s Mass in B Minor. I couldn’t help but think that Hawaii Public Radio had given me a special Maundy Thursday gift by airing the recording of this masterpiece. You see, it was to the same music that Bach set at the end of the Mass, the sonorous and triumphant “Agnus Dei” which I played for Carl on his deathbed, and we saw tears rolling down his cheeks. Go back and read my post, “Bach to the end.” […]
Thank you for this. Who can hear this music and not weep? Condolences on the loss of your beloved, Ms.Crosier.
Anne H Johnson
Potsdam, NY
AGO member
Thank you for your very kind words. Even though it has been almost a year-and-a-half since this event, I can still remember it as though it were yesterday, and of course, I miss my husband very much. Katherine Crosier
[…] Five years ago, Carl’s sister, Carol Crosier Rodi, and I, along with our musical friend, John Renke, were standing vigil ’round his bedside in a hospice facility in Ewa Beach, some 45 minutes away from our home in Honolulu. You may remember that we had an extraordinary experience when we played Bach Cantata 106, “God’s time is the best time,” and Carl raised his left hand as if to conduct. (“Bach to the end.“) […]